Funniest comments on the web #3

This time on funniest comments on the web, where we cover the funniest comments and other Google and Youtube related stuffs on the web, we got a comment on Kaoma's Lambada official music video that still has the highest rated comment or the top comment page.

Right. Brazil video, a guy saying he's going to Brazil, and a need for Brazil condom!

So this guy says he's going to Brazil, connecting his personal experience that is going to happen with the video, which is really inspiring and soul-crying and it just feels like you need to cry and you get so nostalgic and stuff!

But guess who ruins the fun by commenting a totally unexpected comment?

'have fun, but remember to use condoms'

sure it just adds more fun to it.

In fact, it was so funny that I laughed on the floor, and everyone else in my apartment was pretty pissed off that I was screaming and laughing, just rofling.

What is this, use condoms? Brazil condoms?

Wow. The total lol comment and best of all the series!

So that guy thinks the other guy is going to go there and just get a few prostitutes, get laid, and have some sexy time? xD

Even if he does, why are you then telling him to use a condom as if you were his mom or dad?

So funny... :D

Join me next time, where I'll cover even more funny comments.

Previous episode: First episode: 

Be sure to check out my blog often!

I really hope you remember the first video ever and the funniest comment on it...

Share this with your friends! They'll love it!

Funniest comments on the web #2

This is a series of compilation of extremely funny Youtube and Google comments and videos/pictures.
To see all, click here:

As THE first video ever uploaded to Youtube, this video gets many comments, including this one:

This guy claims to be watching this on iStone after some idiot pissed him off by posting one of those 'regular' spam comments.
Hilarity insues.

Click on the image to see full size photo.
The usual spam comment saying 'Like if your watching this in 2012' pisses one guy off, and he becomes sarcastic. Really sarcastic so that it's funny (really funny...I rofl'd for 5 minutes)

To see more funniest youtube comments, subscribe to this blog so you get the post whenever you want.
smalltechtips.blogspot.ca
Leave a comment on what you think!
If you have funnier comments (which I doubt you do), comment with the link to that.

Funniest comments on the web #1

I don't know if you can see this, but look at the top comment.

This video was about a gamer whose controller broke. So he does this video of him destroying the controller, and some guy has a witty comment about it...
"Don't breathe this!"
Hope you know what it means *cough will it blend *cough

SEO optimization - update

In my previous article - here - I discussed about what elements of your contents makes your contents, let it be blogs, articles, Youtube videos, etc, show up higher in the Google's search results.

This time, we add more to those tips. This is something I have found after over 30 hours of research, both online and offline. Also, I have few corrections to the previous blog, with the first being that the strategies actually works for both Yahoo search and Bing search! Second, remember how I said SEOs don't matter when the user has personal results on? Well, I was wrong. The more tags you have, the more likely you're going to show up in a personalized search. I experimented with it after reading an article about it, and it seemed to be true. And here's the last thing I forgot to talk about.

This is a really big thing when talking about showing up higher in the search results. So it turns out that the more back links you have, the higher your contents are going to show up! Even if it's your own websites, fan page, or twitter page! So constantly keep sharing links to your contents even if nobody sees it - at least the Google crawler does, and it gives you a huge boost. Link to your videos on your other contents, cross-link your contents, ask websites to share link to your content, and even share it on Reddit - it's an excellent way to share your contents if your contents are good, as at least 5 people read your post there, no matter what time or timezone you are in.

So that is a short, but extremely useful tip as to how to get large/big on Youtube/Google and get way more views than you do now. Try it, and tell me if it works!

Subscribe to my blog - smalltechtips.blogspot.ca

Making Your Post Search-Engine Optimised (SEO) - how to get big on youtube

Sometimes you feel like even if you had a great post/page/Youtube video/review, nobody ever watched/read your stuffs. That is because nobody actually saw it at all in the first place. To make your contents out there more, you need to focus on optimizing your contents for search engines, so that your contents would show up at the top of the search results.

Bing is virtually impossible, and useless to do this as it tries to understand who the searcher is, and makes attempts to get results relevant for only them. This would be useless, again, but you can have a lot of key words, labels, and tags to attract viewers at all times.

So Bing is out, and Google remains. Google is known for its accurate search results, with the reason being that it uses straightforward algorithms to mechanically analyze datas from pages and its servers. So it's unbiased, given that the users turn the setting to 'hide personal results' instead of 'show personal results', because in the first case, it would be the same as Bing if the users did. Crossing our fingers, we get on with our comprehension on the Google's 'The Algorithm', that made Google rise, made Microsoft fail so much, and made Google one of the predominant companies in the world.
Google rates pages/videos(in case of YouTube) in following ways:

Title>Description>Tags

Now on the pages, there is a certain complicated thing called 'page rank' which you probably wouldn't be able to control at all, just because a. It's so complicated and b. It depends hugely on luck.
What Page Rank is that it ranks pages that are more important, more viewed, and more liked and supposedly more people think it's relevant to the search result. The Page Rank system is extremely difficult. All you can do is to keep making creative contents that people would enjoy along with good tags and plenty of descriptions. But make sure the tags are relevant, as irrelevant tags might cause you to lose a couple of people viewing your contents.

On Youtube, there are some extra stuffs that you can control(which is always good)!
The below shows how it ranks videos. As no company can search video by its content, it searches videos by its metadata, so more metadata ensures that more people watch your video. There is an upward limit though.

YouTube ranks videos in following categories:
Spotlight Videos
Most Discussed
Most Viewed
Top Favorited
Popular
Most Responded
Top Rated

One other thing most Youtubers don't do is to add subtitles. Subtitles count hugely when determining the search results, because like I said, no company can rate/search by video's contents, so subtitles is the only way they can know about your video, so it counts highly when rating the video's importance and relevance. By adding subtitles, you get ahead of 99% of the people, because only 1% of people do it.

There is a rumor that comments on videos and pages also count towards search result by a small margin. Don't know if it's true or not, but it is always good to have many comments. There is nothing to lose from it.

Things that are both useful for pages AND Youtube videos:

1. Add as many tags as you can.

2. Google shows results that include the search keywords in the exact order the person searched.

For example, if I look up RFID 2013, results with RFID 2013 will get higher in the search results, compared to RFID...2013 where there are words between RFID and 2013. Also, it means that 2013 RFID won't show up at the top of the search result.

3. LOTS of description. There is no limit on description, so use that wisely. Describe your videos well, along with putting the title across the description and constantly repeating the keywords in the description. Don't spam by putting too much words. Words that are not in sentence and not in order, especially just random array/soup of words and tags, is not gonna work. Instead, you have to be precise yet include all the details and cover a bit broader than your video/content.

4. In tags, try putting very specific terms such as "thunderbolt drive" in double quotation marks. That way, when a person is searching specifically for that term, your contents is the most accurate result.

5. I know this is BS, but you do have to get a lot of views from people to get higher. Yes, this is unfair. But it is better for Google, so just try to stay alive.
6. You need a lot of reference from other sites/videos. Try sending links to your contents to various websites. Share it on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+. When it gets on Facebook and Google, it gets you so much more viewers! I once got shared on Facebook, and guess what? The guy with 10 subscribers suddenly got 1000 extra views just from Facebook because some whale just shared it! Reddit is also a good place to share it...That is, only if your contents are good.
7. Constantly create contents (alliteration?) for your increased chances on getting higher on search results.

8. More interactions are better!

So those are the many ways you could increase traffics to your contents that not much others tell. Hope it helped you, and if it did, subscribe to me to stay up-to-date!

UPDATE: I added more info and corrected some of this! Check it out here!

25 Tips When The Youtube Starts Being Slow

Today for the blog I got ways to prevent Youtube from being slow and stop loading the movie/video you are trying to watch.
So the problem all begins when the red bar starts to catch up with the grey bar.
1. Youtube may not even load at all at the start of a video. In that case, refresh the page by pressing F5.
2. If it's still not loading, try scrolling up to 0:03 or some part of the video instead of letting Youtube load from the beginning.
3. Check your internet settings. Many of the times it is because of the internet connection problem.
4. But will it blend?
5. Many of the other times, it is the fault of Youtube. Close your browser and start again.
6. You should try disconnecting from the internet and connecting again. This clears the problem 90% of time.
7. If it still doesn't work, then try rebooting the internet router. Internet routers are also computers like your laptop, PC, iPad, etc, so sometimes it needs to be rebooted.
8. Oops, the router took an arrow to the knee.
9. Be an adventurer and restart your computer. This step might be horrendous for you if you're running Windows XP. Your computer is now safe to turn off.
10. Try unplugging your router with your Modem.
11. If it's still doesn't work, it is recommended that you contact your ISP!
12. KNIFE!
13. Try updating your system software and/or your browser software. This should have been the step 7.
14. Sometimes it is good to change video resolution lower. Try it.
15. If the red bar is still catching up, you need to scroll it forward instead of backward. The reason for this is that Youtube don't load movies/videos when the black bar is ahead of the red bar. Most of the time.
16. You were expecting something funny in this step.
17. Try smacking the computer like back in the ol' days.
18. If you are willing, replace some parts of the computer with newer parts, such as RAM(really important).
19. Smacking didn't help? Then try smashing! Word of caution: when smashing, only use the bats. Don't throw your sister onto the computer.
20. Clearing the computer might help. Drop it from the top floor.
21. One actually useful tip: delete some stuffs on your computer. It is proven that computer is more likely to malfunction and be slow when the 2/3rds of the disk is full.
22. Now back to the practical tips: ask your parents for some money, regardless of your age.
23. Infiltrate Microsoft and reprogram the whole OS.
24. Blow up the disk, and insert a new one.
25. If you're still having problems with loading a Youtube video, then blame the world because it's clearly their fault.

Hope you enjoyed this and found something useful. Add me to RSS feed and let your friends know about me on Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube. Thanks!

How Closed Captioning on Youtube works

JUst look at this. Closed captioning is really hard to master. It's not like subtitle. There ARE a subtle difference, google it and go to the first article (not mine). Normal closed captions look like ordinary texts, only with [0:00:01:14] sort of things that identify the time of which each text appears at. This is called timecode.

Here's another type of caption:

Transcripts of ScreenFlow

...So, when you think about this, so if you go to order, and order the complete collection, you see that there are 500k discs shipping trucks...And that would take even more space. and surprise! 2.6 million. dollars. Are you serious. 500000 videos, I mean discs, I mean just think about the weight and like time to ship it and the time to actually. You need to watch it for lifetime...

So this one just looks like a plain text. It is. So you can just create a 'transcript' from just a text file! Sweet!

Normally, closed captioning stuffs includes timecodes. And by the way, the caption file formats can be anything ranging from HTML, HTML5, XML, transcript file, timecode file, .txt file, .rtf file, and lots of other crazy unused formats that just allows to contain text. That is the only limitation as to which file formats are supported.
So those are couple of tips on closed captioning.
Recommended windows software: just anything. There are so many applications out there that do the job.
For the mac: definitely MovieCaptioner. They do the job properly, it's easy to use, and all the stuffs.
That's it for my review on closed captioning and a couple of examples on youtube! And those are all off the youtube. Yes, and they actually work so it's a wonder.